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Feb 201828

A Day In The Life Of A Transformation Customer Service Girl

“Good morning, Transformation, Beverley speaking, how can I help you” this is how we start our day Monday to Friday. There will always be a friendly voice on the other end of the phone, someone to advise and listen to you without judging you. Having worked for Transformation for the last 16 years, I know how nerve racking that first phone call can be. You are speaking to a complete stranger regarding your gender and confiding in a person you have never met.  Take a deep breath and tell us all about yourselves, how you feel, what changes you are hoping for and we will help and advise you all we can. Not only do I take orders over phone, I also pack them giving you the customer that personal touch. New customers will receive a £25.00 voucher with their first order which can be spent with their next order and we will always make you aware of all our special offers by post and/or email. If you don’t want to receive postal mail we won’t send you any promotions as we respect your privacy. Everyday is different at Transformation HQ, we thrive on challenges and making all our customers happy with the information we give them and the products we send them. We have a great Face Book page which has lots of information and offers and will answer any emails with-in 30 minutes of you sending them. I also check the Facebook page over the weekend and will answer any email as fast as I can.

Feb 201828

You Can't Fight It So Accept It

You Can't Fight It So Accept It

I am not a doctor or a psychiatrist, so what gives me the qualifications to write about transvestism? I write purely from experience, having been a heterosexual transvestite for many years. I first discovered the pleasure that cross dressing gave me during my early twenties, when I Secretly donned some of my wife’s underwear. The effect was immediate and resulted in an Uncontrolled ejaculation, which in turn left me with a feeling of guilt and disgust. However, the desire to wear women’s clothes became so great that these secret flights of fancy continued whenever the opportunity arose. Also I had become more adventurous and had purchased some clothing of my own: these of course Had to be hidden, and so deceitfulness was added to my list of sins. Over the next ten years I was becoming increasingly frustrated by the enforced limited duration, And lack of opportunities, for my trips into my alter ego. Also I was becoming increasingly guilty of keeping the whole secret from my wife. So I Decided to tell all, naively hoping she would understand and allow me to ‘dress’ at Any time in the house. It obviously comes as a great shock for a wife to discover that her husband likes To prance about in ladies undies. She did, however, agree to give it a try and I dressed Myself in a skirt and jumper and a pair of mule slippers. At this time I used neither A wig nor make-up and I realise now what a bizarre sight I must have presented. It clearly was not going to work, and if continued it would obviously cause a   A normal healthy life-if only I had known then what I know now. During the next twelve months or so I became more and more irritable and unreasonable Until eventually I suffered a near nervous breakdown, confessed all to my doctor and finished Up in the psychiatric ward of the local hospital.  All this eventually cost me my job and my marriage. I will skip briefly over the next forty odd years of my life, only to say I did marry again, but this time I told my wife of my transvestite tendencies before our marriage.   Dressing On the whole it was a very happy partnership in all respects, my ‘dressing’ continued but not in My wife’s presence, and by arranging for her to have the odd week or two away on holiday now   And again, the frustration was contained. Though there were many times when I felt I must get away, the love of my wife stopped me. My wife recently died and I now live alone which gives me the opportunity to ‘dress’ all day, three or four days a week, within the confines of my home. I have braved the Outside world on a couple of occasions in the past, but only for a few hours and much as I would like to live completely as a woman, at seventy years of age I feel the disruption to my life would be too great. So, having spent about fifty years seeing doctors and psychiatrists, taking tablets, considering suicide and doing other daft things, I offer the following as a possible aid to understanding transvestism , facing up to it and removing some of the guilt and shame you may feel in succumbing to your sexual fantasies; I hope it is of some help.   What determines our personality? Our gene’s, our upbringing, our experiences, our environment, all Play a part in determining the type of person we are.  A traumatic experience can change our Outlook on life but it is our basic personality or character, call it what you will, that determines Our reaction to these things.   To life in general, others are more submissive, and given the same environment and upbringing Will react differently to the same set of circumstances. The point is: there are a number of Inborn basic characteristics that do not change irrespective of any other outside influences, They merely determine our reaction to them. Our sex is determined by our genes, so why Should our sexuality not also be determined by some other factor in our genes, making us Either heterosexual, homosexual or bisexual. I do not believe that one becomes homosexual Or bisexual as a result of some outside influence. Carry this theory a little further and consider the cartoon character who believes he is Napoleon, or the Elvis fan who dresses as and mimics his idol. These are fanatics who so Worship their idol that they want to be that person. It is an inborn need to become the Object of their desire, lets say the ‘wannabe factor’ BINGO you have a perfect recipe for A transvestite. Are we abnormal? In terms of what is socially acceptable, yes we are abnormal, though the size of the Mail order and personal shopping market that thrives on us indicates we are fairly Large percentage of the population. We were born with a deformity, (yes I do believe the problem is genetic) as others are born with physical or mental disabilities. While they are partially accepted into society, depending on the degree of their disability, we Don’t fit into a convenient slot and society, on the whole, does not know how to deal With us. We are an embarrassment and therefore become the subject of snide jokes, ignored In the hope we go away or, in extreme cases, hounded out of town. Unless you are fortunate enough to have the right stature and features and can pass Fairly easily as a female, it means the only outlet for us is in the confines Of our home- we must not be found out, we would become an outcast. Should we feel guilt or shame? Providing what we do harms no other person, either physically or mentally, there Should be no rational reason for felling guilty. Neither should we feel ashamed of what We are, but unfortunately we feel ashamed of other people’s perceptions of us. Should we have the courage to ‘come out’ as many do and eventually become, if not totally accepted, tolerated, our guilt and shame would disappear. But this is the real world and unless you are fortunate enough to be able, physically, To pass as a women then the stress and strain of continually being looked upon As a freak may mean we have traded in one set of problems, only to be confronted With another. I’m sure we all often feel the frustration of having to limit our activities to the confine Of our home and would dearly love to ‘come out’ and damn the consequences. If only we could be found out and the decision made for us, life would be so much easier. But beware, speaking from experience I can tell you that unless you intend to go all the way Being accidently found out only compounds the problem and you can be left with the task Of having to rebuild your life. My advice to any of you having my courage to ‘come out’ Is, do it sooner than later, it will never get easier. I can look back to when I was about five or six and remember the fascination I had with Young ladies and girls, which of course, could be said to be quite normal. But I can See that what I felt was different. I seemed to envy their femininity. What must be appreciated is that although cross dressing is something from which we Derive great sexual pleasure, which if it culminates in masturbation or intercourse can be Satisfied to the extent that the urge to do so is reduced temporarily, it will return in a Relatively short space of time. The major part of your life is dominated by this desire for femininity and I can Assure you it does not go away. The intensity may diminish to some extent but the ability To obtain some respite is also diminished as we become less virile, (the pain is still there But the painkillers are less effective). If my sex drive was reduced to zero I would still Want to be a woman. I am afraid we must all find our own salvation, some may be lucky and Find a satisfactory solution, but whatever you do, try to obey the following:-
  1. The golden rule. Don’t harm other person, either physically or mentally.
  2. Know yourself and be honest with yourself.
  3. Don’t feel guilt/shame; accept yourself for what you are
  4. Don’t marry unless you find a partner who is prepared to accept you
  5. If you do decide to come out and/or have the op do it sooner.
    The compulsion to ‘dress’ transcends all other considerations and this is where we must Be careful that our actions do not have a damaging effect on our lives, or on the lives Of those dearest to us. In these circumstances the quick temporary solution is, to put it bluntly, Masturbation. But this is not what we want, we want to savour the feeling of being dressed As a woman and we want the feeling to last, not suppress it. It is in these moments of almost fanatical desire to satisfy our obsession that one must Be thankful that we are neither rapists or paedophiles. These people are obviously driven by an uncontrollable urge to act in the way they do, Unfortunately their actions have a serious effect on other peoples lives and therefore They must be forcibly restrained from the ability to do so. Thinking along these lines, and no doubt we all do at times, can make us feel what a thin Line we tread between the obscene and the deviate. Much as we rightly revile the actions Of these people, we have a far better understanding of the emotions that drive them to commit Their acts. Do not despair or castigate yourself for having this affliction, and affliction it is; at least We can live a normal life in all other respects and the worst that can happen is we Become the object of ridicule.                    

Feb 201821

Objects of Desire - Stockings and Suspenders

short story

Objects of Desire - Stockings and Suspenders

 

This is one of life’s pleasurable things. So soft and delicate, clinging like a second skin. There is something wonderful about slowly rolling a new stocking up your leg. It must be done slowly. Like all pleasures it should be savoured.   Transvestism thrives on the differences between men and women’s clothing. The sock is coarse and the stocking is sheer. The sock doesn’t advance beyond the shin. The stocking clings intimately to our thighs.

 

A sock is something you use but with a stocking it is like a relationship. Like a lover. You need your nails to be smooth to avoid snagging. Be careful  - don’t tug.   Suspenders too are sensual. Fastening them in place a delight. Position them carefully. They must not grip the welt not the sheer fabric beneath. Slide the suspender into place. Feel it take the tension. I love it !!   30 years after stockings and suspenders were “replaced “ by tights lots of women still have them in their drawers and on their legs. The appeal continues and not just for Transvestites. Possibly the most sexy pictures I’ve ever seen was in a glossy women’s magazine. It was an “ I want to be that girl” sexiness. These mags exist to sell clothes, makeup, perfume, anything feminine. They are in the business of making the reader want to be that girl. The point is that stockings and suspenders can ooze sex appeal to women as well as men. The sexiness for me is about the fact that they are hidden.

 

The image of a girl adjusting her suspender is so sexy and only she will know she’s wearing them. “ I want to be that girl"   The Transvestite is in a privileged position. We can place ourselves in the private world of the woman. This is especially satisfying when stepping out with suspenders out with suspenders and stocking tops hidden under our skirts. We know but no one else does. When looking at ourselves in the mirror we are both the man and woman looking on at the sexy image we see before us.  It’s no wonder w love mirrors so much.

 

It’s not just about looking good, it’s how they make us feel too. The feeling when we roll them in is so great. Even better when the suspenders take the tension. Stockings are sexy and practical !! Sex with both if you in  stockings comes highly recommended. The friction of nylon upon nylon  - WOW !! Wearing feminine clothes is a very special experience. They say the most fun you can have with your clothes on. Let’s pamper ourselves and as far as I’m concerned that includes stockings and suspenders. They’re great !!!



Feb 201814

The Actress

The Actress

  [caption id="attachment_3431" align="alignleft" width="149"]The Actress The Actress[/caption] The Actress is a short story for you to enjoy. “OK, that’s enough for the day, see you all next Week” the director called form her seat in the Front row of the theatre. Paul sighed and made to Follow the other actors off stage. The rehearsals for the play were not going well and he Knew that he was primarily to blame. He knew too that His friendship with the director would not prevent him From losing his job if he did not improve quickly. “Paul, could I speak to you for a minute” as if divining his Thoughts Sarah called him from where she was sat in the stalls in the Front of the stage. “What’s the problem?” she asked when he pushed down the seat Next to her and lowering himself dejectedly into it. He made no pretence of not knowing what she was talking about. “I Just can’t identify with the part” he told her honestly, “it doesn’t Work for me.” “You know how important your roll is. The audience have to Believe that you really are a woman up to the final act, not just a man in drag.   [caption id="attachment_3350" align="alignleft" width="150"]The Actress The Actress[/caption] Paul looked at her without speaking. Any other director would Have sacked him already and he honestly could not blame her if That’s what she decided to do now. “I’m going to give you one week to get this right or I’ll have to get Someone else”, she told him. “But I think you are going to need Some radical help” “What do you mean?” Paul asked. He was happy to have been Given another week and was willing to listen to anything that she Might suggest. “I think it might help if you were to live as a woman for a while. That’s the only way I can think that you are going to learn to fit the role and be convincing.” Paul stared at her in disbelief, but he saw immediately from her Determined expression that she was not joking.” “I can’t do that.” He rejected the suggestion, “It wouldn’t work” “That’s up to you to decide,” Sarah said standing up. “Really its A question of how badly you want this part. And if you are a Good enough actor to play the part then you will make it work.” She got up then and started walking along the aisle towards The exit.  Paul stared after her and knew instinctively that she Had washed her hands of him. She had questioned his Commitment and challenged his ability. After that it was up To him.  He had one week in which to prove that he was right For the part or else he would be out of a job. “Wait.” He shouted and ran after her, “I’ll need help.” She turned back to him and to his relief she smiled and told Him that she had known he would see sense and that she had Every confidence in him.  This slight praise was a welcome Boost to Paul’s dented confidence and he readily agreed to Call at her house early the following day. He arrived at her home early the next morning and a heavy knot of Apprehension filled his stomach as he pressed the door bell. While he was keen to keep the part in the play and recognised that he Did need to do something to improve his performance, He felt nervous about the idea of actually trying to live as a woman. “Right, upstairs with you and into the bath.” She said when she opened the door. It was obvious that she was intent on taking charge from the start And was not going to give him the opportunity to chicken out. [caption id="attachment_3347" align="alignleft" width="150"]The Actress The Actress[/caption] Sarah led him to the bathroom where she handed him a towel And a tube of depilatory cream. She left him with instructions to Use it on his legs and underarms. Once alone, he filled the bath and lowered himself into the warm water. Leisurely he washed then reached for the tube she had given him. He read the directions then with a sigh of resignation, unscrewed the cap. Hi nose wrinkled at the foul smelling odour as he smeared the Cream on his skin but he waited the recommended length of time Before rinsing it off and drying himself. Sarah was waiting in the bedroom when he finally padded in, A towel wrapped round his hips. He sat on The edge of her bed and watched without comment as she picked Out some clothes for him to wear. “These should fit you well enough,” she said, dropping a Pile of clothing on the bed beside him. “At least they will Do until you buy some of your own.” “Do you not have anything without frills?” Paul asked Picking up a pair of skimpy silk panties edged in lace. “Yes,” Sarah answered patiently, “but there would be little Point in letting you wear something that could be regarded As unisex. The whole idea of this is for you to become as near To a true woman as possible. And women like feminine things.” Realising he had little choice in the matter Paul dropped the towel And stepped into the panties. At first the skimpy garment bulged Out ay the front in a very unfeminine manner but at Sarah’s suggestion he tucked his penis back between his Legs and managed to achieve a reasonably acceptable profile. Next Sarah handed him a bra and gingerly he put it on, padding Out the cups with tissues to give himself a more realistic female shape. She nodded her approval and handed him a suspender belt Which he fastened round his waist. The he took the dress she had Chosen for him and pulled it on over his head, reaching for the zip. Paul sat on the bed then and picked up a pair of stockings. Carefully he rolled one up his leg, noticing as he did so how Smooth his hairless skin felt, and fastened it to the straps Of the suspenders. Soon the second leg was similarly covered. “Try these on, they should be your size,” Sarah handed him a pair of Shoes she had borrowed from the props room back at the theatre. They were plain black court shoes with heels and they were a perfect fit. Paul stood up and took a tentative step. The material of the dress brushed Sensuously against his stockinged thighs as he moved and He blushed at the pleasurable thrill this gave him. Balancing precariously on the high heels he tried a few steps. Although he was a little wobbly at first he soon found that so Long as he did not take the long strides he was accustomed to Then he could walk easily enough. “You look great,” Sarah encouraged him, “now come and get some Make-up on.” Obediently Paul went to sit at the dressing table. He knew The basics of using makeup from working on the stage but Did not know the techniques required to give him a natural Feminine appearance. Eager to learn something which may Benefit him professionally, he paid close attention to each Step as Sarah transformed his features. In a matter Of minutes she was satisfied and reached for the wig he was to wear. Placing it on his head he pinned it in place and brushed it into shape. “how do I look,” he asked when Sarah pronounced herself satisfied. “Come and see for yourself,” she suggested, and Paul stepped Over to examine himself in the full length mirror on the back Of the wardrobe door. He was surprised and strangely pleased to see a very attractive young Woman look back at him. The hem of the dress stopped a few Inches above the stockinged knee and he noticed with a certain [caption id="attachment_4198" align="alignleft" width="150"]The Actress The Actress[/caption] Satisfaction that wearing heels gave his lower leg a convincing feminine Appearance. “Well, I Certainly look the part” he observed and smiled At the reflection in the mirror. He felt no embarrassment or Unease at seeing himself dressed as a woman. Only a growing Confidence that he would be able to play the part after all. He turned from admiring his transformation to see Sarah locking the clothes He had worn to come to the house in a cupboard. She locked it with A decisive click and removed the key. “You won’t be needing and male clothes for the rest of the week,” she Stated, “so we may as well put them out of temptation.” Paul did not argue. He needed the part in the play and was grateful That Sarah was giving him this chance. And if he were honest with himself He had to admit that the actor in him was beginning to enjoy The challenge of the masquerade. By lunch time of that first day, however, Paul was disheartened. He had played the part of a woman as well as he could but It had become apparent that feminine gestures and mannerisms Did not come naturally to someone who had lived as a man All his life. He felt awkward and clumsy. “I’ll never be able to do this,” he said dejectedly when Sarah Had to remind him for what seemed like the umpteenth time to smooth his Skirt under his thighs as he sat down. “Of course you will,” she assured him. “The problem at the moment is That you are still trying to act like a woman. You have to relax and become one. Then those small gestures will be natural.” One look at his face told her that drastic measures were necessary to Counter his negativity. “Right we are going shopping this afternoon.” She told him in a voice that brooked no argument, “you need To meet people to gain some confidence, and we need to buy you some Clothes of your own.” Paul felt nervous about being seen in public and it was with growing Trepidation that he followed Sarah out of the house. The heels of his shoes clicked loudly on the pavement as they walked To the bus stop and a light breeze swirled his skirt round his legs. It was a pleasant sensation but it also made him feel vulnerable and Defenceless, and not just through fear of being ‘found out’. He had a sudden insight into how a woman on her own must feel While walking home at night and with it came the realisation that he had Just experienced his first female thought. Their first stop was to buy him a handbag “A women never goes Anywhere without her handbag so you won’t either,” she told him. Paul readily agreed to this as he had quickly found that while wearing A dress he had no where to keep his money or even the key to the house. For someone like him who normally had pockets crammed full of things That he could not live without, the purchase was a necessity. [caption id="attachment_3822" align="alignleft" width="150"]The Actress The Actress[/caption] For the remainder of the afternoon they browsed among the shops fitting Paul out with a complete new wardrobe. He discovered that he enjoyed the Experience. The sales staff were pleasant and treated him as they would Any female customer. And no one suspected that he was anything other Than he appeared to be. “No one suspected at all,” Paul said gleefully to Sarah when they returned home. That night Paul stayed at Sarah’s. She had given him a nightdress to wear And as he slipped it over his head, the flimsy material slid sensuously against His skin.  He shuddered with pleasure and climbed into bed. The following morning Paul woke early and picked out what clothes he would wear. He washed then dressed quickly and, without waiting for Sarah to do it for Him, began to put on some makeup. “Not Bad,” she decided when she saw his first attempt, “you are a quick learner.” Paul smiled at the praise and followed her downstairs for breakfast. As it was Sunday they still did not have to go to the theatre but Sarah Insisted that they go out for the day. “It’s important that you get accustomed To being treated as a woman,” she explained. “That’s the only way that you will Really learn what it is to be female.” Paul agreed readily. He was discovering that the longer he spent in female Attire, the more comfortable he felt. It was almost as if his usual weak male Personality had been taken over by a stronger feminine one. The day was an unqualified success. By the time he was curled up once again [caption id="attachment_4201" align="alignleft" width="150"]The Actress The Actress[/caption] In his borrowed nightdress he had complete confidence in the female Side of his personality. “Are you nervous?” Sarah asked as he put on makeup the following Morning. “Not at all” he told her, and he realised it was true.  As a man he always suffered from Stage fright to some degree but as a woman he felt more confident. “Okay, thanks everyone, that’s it for today.” Sarah called from her seat in the stalls. “Paul, could I have a word before you go?” Paul walked gracefully to the side of the stage where he carefully negotiated The narrow steps. “They weren’t made for anyone wearing heels,” he thought As he came across to where Sarah was sitting. He pushed down the theatre seat With one hand while the other brushed his skirt against his thighs, then sat down. Sarah noted with a smile that the action had been done without  conscious thought. “You did well today,” she told him, “there is no doubt that you can do it, But I think you should still practise for the rest of the week. You don’t want To risk getting complacent at this stage.” Paul agreed and for the next four days lived entirely as a woman. Each day He became more confident and his acting improved accordingly. “You’ll be trying to take over the show soon,” she joked as they ate a celebratory Dinner together at home on Friday evening. “That’s the idea,” he agreed with a very unmasculine giggle. “Well it took drastic measures but you stuck it out. I expect you will be glad To get your own clothes back.” Paul looked across the table at the woman who had become his friend And sipped his wine to avoid answering. “Well, you will, won’t you?” She persisted. “I’ve been thinking…….” Paul began “Yes?” she prompted him. “Well, it’s just that since I have been such a success this week, I thought that I Might continue to live like this for a while. At least until the play is finished.” Sarah stared at him for a long moment then slowly smiled as she Understood what he was saying. “Just until the play is over?” she questioned In a teasing tone. Paul grinned widely at her, grateful that she understood. “Perhaps,” he answered.                                

Feb 201807

New Clothing Just Arrived

clothing and wigs

New Clothing Just Arrived

All the new clothing just arrived is available to buy online and in our Manchester Shop. All designed with you in mind they come in larger sizes, may in one size to fit all as they stretch to your body shape. Check out all the new clothing just arrived instore and online.

New Underwear

  [caption id="attachment_4199" align="alignleft" width="150"]BabyDoll BabyDoll[/caption] Babydolls, suspender and stocking sets and new longer length petticoats have all recently been added to our Female Apparel department. Soft lace and luscious satin make these lingerie items a real treat to wear.  

New Sexy Dresses and Clothing

  [caption id="attachment_4200" align="alignleft" width="150"]Sexy Dress Sexy Dress[/caption] We also have a new Sexy Bodyshaping Clothing section. This includes new Body Con dresses and lather look skirts and leotards.   There’s also day wear and evening wear including wedding dresses.  

Sexy Minis

  [caption id="attachment_4201" align="alignleft" width="150"]Lacey Babydoll Lacey Babydoll[/caption] Sexy minis include ra ra skirts and lacey babydolls.  

Shoes all in Larger, Wider Sizes

  [caption id="attachment_4198" align="alignleft" width="150"]Sexy Sandal Sexy Sandal[/caption] And some new shoes have just arrived, all in the latest fashionable styles. Stilletos, Sandals, Slingback all in sexy blacks and funky glitters      

Gorgeous Wigs

  [caption id="attachment_4171" align="alignleft" width="150"]party wigs Bubblegum pink wig[/caption] And to top it all off a new wig. All the latest styles and funky colours including the new pastel colours.   So check it out today and see what you can find. All with money off these new items will set the new year off with a bang.  

New Wardrobe – New you



Feb 201805

Self Portrait In A Straw Hat

short story

Self Portrait In A Straw Hat

On my infrequent visits to London whenever I can steal a few moments for my private pleasure, I pay a fleeting visit to the National Gallery and head immediately for the same room. There on the left, just as you enter is a small canvas painted by Elizabeth Louise Vigee Le Brun a French  female artist who lived from 1755 – 1842 in Paris. I know very little of her life or of her other paintings. The National Gallery possesses one other painting by her but it does not compare in merit with her self portrait wearing a straw hat.  

Expression

  She stares straight out of her portrait at the viewer. Her expression is challenging. There is a half smile about her lips and her eyes are clear, almost calculating as she gazes into what I presume is a mirror. She holds the palette in her left hand protruding through the hole and the bulk of the palette resting on her arm.   But the painting is not being done at the moment depicted. No woman would risk spoiling her clothes without a smock to protect them. She so obviously enjoys being a woman and wearing her finery. He depicts herself in a dusky pink low cut dress with a gathered bodice and trimmed with a white satin ruff with an engaging ribbon in a bow between her breasts, the outlines of which are just visible beneath the folds of her dress. From her appearance I would guess she was about 20 years old when she painted the portrait but it has the style and professionalism of someone twice that age.   But the glory of the painting is the hat. It is a wide brimmed straw hat turned up slightly on the right to give a debonair appearance to the wearer.   What so captures my appearance is the triumphant femininity of Elizabeth Louise. She lived at a time when it must have been exceedingly difficult for any woman to make a living independently in a man’s world but her she is , full of self confidence in her powers and skills as a painter, challenging the world with a painting of superlative merit and sure technique and at the same time depicting herself  as a beautiful and desirable woman. If I has been a man I might have fallen in love with her.   But I am not. What I can  do instead is to think of her when I dress. To assume some of her self confidence and see myself as her looking out of that painting into the world with confidence and unafraid.   I once cherished the dream of finding clothes similar to those she wears in the portrait so that I could look in the mirror as she did and hopefully see the same woman returning my scrutiny with that half amused smile. Perhaps one day I will.   Meanwhile she inspires me and fills me with a feminine confidence that I would not otherwise enjoy and so on every visit to London I pay homage to my predecessor and silently commune with her spirit.    



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